Thursday, July 03, 2008
i just read my previous posts and i am aghast to see that contrary to my belief that the last time i wrote was 2 years back, there were some pretty recent ones last year! hola! (:

my god. not that im boasting but i do write pretty well. you gotta feel that much to be able to write good posts. i guess i was pretty much going through shit and i was able to express them all nicely in words that would most accurately project my emotions (:

so, i have to get started somewhere. im just playing for time, playing with words and waiting for something interesting to come up. boy, this is going to be a lot harder than i thought. but lets make it easy. i'll start by explaining my absence, and what happened in between (:

... well there was no real reason. i guess i was just busy and lazy. and preoccupied, and going through some real issues at the moment. EH. it was really an issue then cause i was young and unsettled and full of uncontrollable emotions. but things are more or less settled now.

since then, lets see, the A levels has come and gone. i have gotten my results and a new phase of life shall start soon. a little different from others but thats really none your concern. then, also, i have read many books! well the mainstream literary books that would be real topics for conversations when dinner small talks start to wane. hahahaha. but my god, no wonder i could never stand lit. such a pain to read! roar.

read that while driving and i swear you'd suffer a severe case of road rage.

i am also currently insanely depressed. i started work in borders 3 days after my last paper ended last year and guess what? im still here! what the fuck. i cant believe it. seeing the same old faces day in and day out. the same outrageous customers and sickening people. groan. many people are leaving soon but im still stuck there. well i need the cash anyway. the sister and i will be heading to japan again later this october!

japan is such loveeeeeee i tell you.

anddddd, yes that still doesnt make me less depressed. i find ways to get around work. its 6 hours a day anyway (: and i do have a fair few good friends at work. thats the thing about work. you can never find a really true blue real friend cause they'd disappoint you anyways. i tried to move around and well, lets just say i have moved around quite a fair few bit. hahahaha.

... sadded.

anyway, a major thing happened to me this year that really blew me off my feet and left me disoriented for quite a fair bit of time. but oh you know what they say, the balance of the yin and the yang and all that (kungfu panda!) and well, when bad things happen, good things too! for example, i have achieved that twig figure ive always aimed for and can now safely say that shopping is a much more rewarding experience!

...

ok fine. that was one thing. but the real good thing that happened, is the emergence of my truest friends (: people i never knew were always there for me stood by me and listened to my outpour of repeated misery and whines and... lols. only they will know the rest (: i am proud to say that despite the disappointments in life, i have something i know not a lot of people has. HA! all you stupid superficial people who hang out in big groups and get all rah rah and stupid on superficial things and its sad cause they wouldnt really bail you out when you get into really deep shit.

YES. i love isk and pink and liyi. very much. many kisses and hugs and love to go around. i dont talk to them much, and i hardly ask after them but they have been watching out for me no matter how much i have ignored them or forgotten them when things are great.

liyi, you surprise me so by waking up at unusual hours for me just to hear me cry and gurgle over the phone. your patience was unrelenting and i will never forget your hot chocolate and marshmallow therapy. and how you and pink stayed up the whole night with me, sitting by that stinking river and not talking.

isk.. i have no words to describe him. i can only say that a friend like him is rare and i am extremely blessed to have him in my life. he told me this once: just think of me as a dog on a really really long leash. you cant see me but you know im there. so when you need to see me, just give a pull, and i'll be there. my best friend. this is my best friend (: of course him being a guy and all, he wont appreciate all this mushy nonsense. but i will be there anytime he needs me as he will for me too (:

beat that. do you have someone like that in your life?

and also to all the other people who have stood by me..

HA. i swear. i thank everyone like im receiving a bloody grammy. every single time.

yes love love love love (:

i am reading burgess' a clockwork orange. MY GOD. some hard read. but shall persevere! dinner conversations, dinner conversations.

my life is some fucked up sometimes. but i shall not dwell on it. i'll try (: my period is coming soon and all i do is eat and eat and eat. and its fucked up. shall have to lose all the bloody weight again (:

and yes, today, we celebrate the first year! ola.

ps: the cats are doing great (:

riahh ranted at 11:47:00 AM