Wednesday, October 04, 2006
its a windy today. and when i looked at the trees trashing about i am uncannily reminded of holland v. i miss holland v a lot. its been my place for such a long time. over weeks. hours spent at starbucks. dinners. walks up and down the same fucked-up place. but it was my place. my little regular hell-hole where i spent hours after intimate hours with my econs book. ripping it apart while my eyes feasted hungrily on formulas after formulas ((:

i heart my econs book. its falling apart now from the numerous times i've flipped the pages back and forth. it has not failed me. mcq was such love. hearts.

the exams are finally over but im far from being ecstatic. the two day break is awesome. im relaxed. athree is such a loser class lahh. but its ok. i guess they'll be the one having the last laugh. a good last laugh. heh. hmm. p-fucking-w up next. together with AO mother tongue. yipeee. more late nights and whatnots.

such a trying year. its amazing how one can pull through and not feel the tug of this year. year three would seem like such a holiday. IF i ever make it there in the first place. heh.

i love daddy. a lot. i love daddy more than mummy now. and i show it. its so obvious but i dont care. i live for myself and my cat. nothing else matters. im sick of coming home and having crap thrown at me. she's such a bitch anyway. ive said it so many times but im still not tired of it. she works so hard to put more food on the table but the ironic thing is that there is NO food. heh. she works and she works and she works and i dont know what the fuck for also.

i heart daddy. i love detached relationships. i do. thats why i love liyi so much. she makes me feel so relaxed. and sane. and she's such an oddball. an affectionate oddball. hahahaha. even though i dont get her jokes most time at least she does and she laughs and thats good enough for the both of us.

no one gets it. no one gets how much i love hari raya puasa. how much i love it even if its callled by any other name. i love the celebration. i love the crowd. the food. and the money. HEH. i love the costumes. i love the sitting around and catching up. and gathering with long lost relatives. sitting and stuffing myself sick while the adults sit around and gab.

but no one gets that i love the preparation for hari raya as well. i love ramadhan. i love it when i help my mum set the table ((: i used to tell her i wanted to be a waitress when i grew up because i loved setting the table. being the perfectionista i am. i would lay it all perfect and neat. five table mats. five plates. five sets of cutlery on the proper sides. five cups on the same sides.

i like cleaning up the house. i love throwing away all the rubbish and changing curtains even though it makes me so mad all the time. i love cleaning windows tho it sucks. haha. and it takes such a long time. i love to light up our special hotel lights on raya eve and watch our living room transform into an awesome hotel lobby ((:

but not much of these this year. HAH. they are such losers anyway. why should i let them spoil MY celebration? im gonna do it all by myself ((: and yes i heart daddy. a lot.

i wish problems would just go away and not come back.

i am going for a facial and hair treatment. this week. maybe next. hahaha. i dont care ((:

riahh ranted at 12:25:00 PM