Saturday, September 23, 2006
the promos is only
two days away and im feeling calm to the point of being
detached. im so calm sometimes it
scares me. is my preparation adequate enough? did i teach my friends the right stuff?
am i ready?
its only promos and im making such a big deal out of it. but it
is a big deal. if i dont make it. im gone. if we dont make it. we're all gone. and its gonna be
shit if i have to go thru another separation
again. its gonna take me a long time to adjust and by the time im done. its a's and we're all separated again. class cohesion is
very important.
serious.
im happy. im happy to be able to teach my friends the things that i know. not
only in
econs. but for
european history as well. it rawks ((: and its a boost for my morale anyway. and it lifts me when people do finally get it. HEH.
last night i had a very nice time with
alyson. after teaching her and digressing a lot along the way. we finally finished and she waited while i had my
bagels with awesome cream cheese. THANKS ALY! ((: but thats not the point. the point is that talking to her has opened up new perspectives for the people i know. and she made me see that there is
always something good abt everyone.
they wont read this. but i'd like to apologize anyway for having the wrong impressions of
ash and char and all the other people ive judged at face value. ive done the things that ive preached to people not to do.
alyson is mature. terribly mature. and i felt like a little kid beside her. i felt like a
very happy little kid beside her. she told me what she felt about me the first time she saw me ((: and it was very nice. so we talked some more. and the one thing that i really took from last night was the fact that she had unknowingly presented me with a
challenge.
if he's so damn hard to get. the harder i'll try. i dont know what attracts me to him. but i'll try. if along the way i finally realise that he's only there to serve as a distraction while i get back on my feet. then i'll stop. and i'll stop with no regrets.
and i'll thank him too. i'll definitely face a lot of disappointments and hurt too. BUT. if i do get him. its the
best reward i can ever have ((:
role reversal. isnt this much fun? ((:
riahh ranted at
10:27:00 AM
