Thursday, August 10, 2006
im so sick of taking back sunday. hahaha. there's only so much of them that you can hear in a day.

i'd like to slit my wrists to makedamnsure.

and please play ryan cabrera's true at my funeral.

oh the little ironies of life.

my lovely cousin is a closet romantic ((:

no that doesnt distract me from my main issue here. if i died would people care? would they notice my absence in their lives? would people start to regret that they never said hi. smiled or hugged me? would they regret that they never let me have the ice cream when i said i wanted it? or regret not listening to me when i said im hurting? would they curl up and cry because im gone? would thousands of apologies cross their lips?

what about me? is there an after life? would i be a floating spirit watching all over the people i care for? SO CLICHE. would i regret the fact that ive never visited the house of shadows at clarke quay? or the fact that id never gotten round to doing the things that i said i'd do? would i cry along with the people who'd cry for me? would i cry watching my babygirl run around looking for me?

EMO EMO. its late at night. and im feeling like im falling into a deep void of nothingness. there's sth pressing on me. and i wish it'd go away. i wish my responsibilities and my worries would just go away and leave me alone. i want to cancel appointments and dig a hole and live in there by myself. away from people. away from civilization. away from every single fucking thing that lives and breathes.

maybe you could visit me once in a while. to check on me. and persuade me to go home. persuade me or at least pretend to. so i'd know that you care. OK SHIVAAA THIS IS FOR YOU. hahaha :P

right. like anyone would get overly hysterical at my death. i mean come on. im not paris hilton. or even tammy for that matter.

im just plain old.. riah ((:

riahh ranted at 1:23:00 AM