these past months have been such a tremendous rollercoaster that i hardly had time to breathe. things didnt turn out too well beginning of the year yes? when i suddenly had a change of heart and started treating you coldly for the stupidest of reasons. you were upset. but you tolerated anyway. and that softened me up.
i have my days. and then again and again i'd throw tantrums at you. and make you feel shitty cause you're fat and you're ugly and im not. and i'd be sure to remind you. i'd doubt you when you said you lost weight. a best friend would have pretended to believe you and made you feel awesome anyway. i didnt do that. but you did.
i'd bitch about so many things over and over again and you'd never get tired of them. you'd always give way to me even if i had ridiculous demands. i've borrowed so many of your things you could just bunk in with me the next time you come over. i'd borrow money and pretend not to remember and you'd do the same too. you try to lose weight but you eat anyway so that i wouldnt feel so guilty when i put on weight.
you break promises all the time. and that got me angry. but time heals. i'd gotten use to it. and just when we were getting to that point where we were so high. you turn around and stab me in the chest and scream GOTCHA.
so this is it. you're going. you've left. you said you'd come back. but its ok if you dont. i support your decision and i wish you'd know that. that underneath all this cold politeness im facing a terrible storm inside. i want you to know that even if no one else understands you. im still here. i tell you things judy. you know about me inside out. so many intimate details.
you were my girlfriend and i loved you. i still do. we shopped and we ate and we bitched and we clubbed and we had such lovely girlfriend moments. we hugged we kissed we held each other in the theatres and laughed at silly people in boo! you taught me to use eyeliner and style my hair and you made me feel that nothing in the world can bring me down because you were always there to make sure that i look awesome.
you always told me i look awesome. even when i dont.
i wish i'd treated you better. i wish we had stocked up the locker with food like how we always said we would. i wish i had stayed over during the june hols. i wished we had made out in school. i wish.. i wish.. i wish..
im sorry i havent been as good a friend as you have been to me. i'll miss you.
kisskiss.
love.. riah XOXO
riahh ranted at
9:27:00 PM
just me
riahhh.
lurvergal@yahoo.com
220688
cancer (:
ARDENT CAT LOVER
