Thursday, July 27, 2006
things are changing. and i have to learn to cope with it. again.

judy's finally left. no glam farewell. no big hugs. no tears. nothing. i felt so hollow so empty so detached. i attempted to sign out today but decided against it. hanging out with judy feels weird. we did though. today. after school. one of our hangouts. it was so.. hey. yeah? you wanna go here? ok. i needa go. ok. bye.

things dont feel right. kopi brani and teh doesnt feel right without her. haha. wtf. im getting so superficial. people have a tendency to assume that i feel emo and that im not willing to let her go cause of stupid superficial reasons. NO ASSHOLES. i feel emo because i dont know how to react.

numbed.

its like a break up all over again. im happy for her of course. if she wants to go and pursue sth that she really wants then for sure i'd support her. she's my girlfriend. i just.. i dont knw why that sounded like a lie. i dont like to face up to emotions. i'd rather just walk away and not talk. no one can cope with my silent treatments. YEAH WELL. i do have my moments too. its not haha-happyhappy all the time ok?

i so badly need a hug right now? i want to watch sappy romantic movies and cry. and cry. and cry. so i'd have an excuse to cry. so no one would ever guess that someone as bubbly and random as me can have moments of weaknesses too.

i'd learn to cope. im sure i will.

*

pirates of the caribbean - dead's man chest on tuesday with sis was so awesome that i really have no words to say. how can anyone even think it isnt? MY GOD. i cant wait for the third installment. that has got to be one of the best movie this year. ooh lala. so many unexpected twists.

oh johnny depp. you sexy bastard. when are you marrying me huh huh huh? im like your world's biggest fan ok. because get this - i nearly came when captain jack sparrow came out of the coffin. OH SIALAH. i cant believe myself even. he is the first man who has SUCCESSFULLY induced.. ahem ahem. yes you get the idea ((:

oh dont pout johnny depp. you made me squeal in the cinema. OHH LALA.

the rest of the days were just turmoil. good things happen to good people. today mr lee didnt come. HAHAHAHAHA. yes and we three didnt sign out. see. we're good people. i stained my skirt today. what a bummer. im so tired.

and so emo. and i just want a good weekend to hibernate.

aiyaaaa. naveen came up to me on monday night or something and started ranting and raving about me being such a self-absorbed and self-centered bitch of the highest degree. lols. so like whats new? im sorry you cant accept that. a lot of people cant. only a handful can ((:

to me friendship is tolerance. if people can tolerate this pride of mine. they're awesome. sometimes even i cant stand myself ((:

i am dieting still. detention tmr. so fun.

lets make love and listen to death from above.

lunch with is and azura on wednesday was super fun. especially when is gets started on anecdotes about his dad. hahaha. his dad is hilarious. shall meet him tmr :P ohh. azura is so cute please.

random hugs make me smile. thanks julie ((:

oh and just so this entry would have some semblance of riah-ism..

FUCK PW AND EOM LAH CB KNN.

riahh ranted at 8:52:00 PM