Monday, December 26, 2005
i feel much lighter when im faced with this vast empty stretch of blank. when im troubled this is where i turn to. my sanctuary away from my friends. refat used to get pissed when i do this. he said its ok if i dont tell him. he'll find out from my blog anyway. haha. hey can i help it? im able to express my feelings easier down in words than talking face to face with someone.

just read his blog. tts why im depressed. lol. missing yesterday.. hmm what can that mean? so many possible scenarios flashing thru my mind. each wilder yet more believable than the one before. im still afraid of reading his posts sometimes because they give me the feeling that he's got someone new. this downright depressing and frustrating. when can i ever get over this?!

the regularz are being super nice abt it as usual. but for how long are they gona stand my misery and woes? they cant possibly tell me the same things over and over. thats why most days ive taken to keeping quiet and commiserating in my own misery. LOL. super SUPER emo. i want to get over him. i want to carry on with life again.

but haha. i always think abt him. he's always there. he's never gone.

OK CB WTF. he'll probably laugh himself silly over this.

anywayy. its boxing day! box box! LOL. going out for dinner and movie with the girls (: cant wait. too bad hao cant make it. BOO. running super low on cash soon ):

i bought my new bed from ikea already! yay! (: waiting to clean up my room so that they can fix the new double deck. hehe. btw. my house looks like a super war zone.

im getting all hyped abt school! i cant wait to start school! :P i cant wait to don my ultra inferior uniform and prance arnd town. i cant wait to get into the throes of stress and procrastinate during every SLR. or whatever its called now. i forgot. i cant wait to crawl to lessons in the LT. hehe. school is fun!

showers during pe! how can i forget?

but no hilmi ): boo. i miss him.

and.. ive been thinking abt dear again. i think he's just a comforting thought when im down. im being unfair to him. i dont knw what i feel abt him really. he's just a substitute when i feel upset abt refat..

ok i shall shut up now. SEE YAS! (:

riahh ranted at 3:34:00 PM