Tuesday, November 01, 2005
what a hell of a ride it has been. so many heavy blows coming our way one after the other. its like as if it isnt bad enough that our class is the only one to be separated next year. many of our dearest classmates have left too. many left against their will. a loud and totally undeserving class managed to promote together.

im so sorry. i totally forgot that people like sue who worked harder than the whole class put together has to leave cause she was fucking overaged. yeah no one would really care lah that she was the one who'd prance arnd the class happily singing her favorite song - my humps. or what about the fact that she's the only one who comes back on a saturday to consult every single teacher on her weak subjects? she's the one who's so easily tickled and laughs readily at the smallest things. and she was the only one who didnt knw what edible underwear was.

nazrad left us in a pretty cheery mood. declaring loudly on her way out that she'd be a lawyer one day. YOU DO THAT GIRL (: we're behind you all the way. though i really cant imagine why he'd want to lie abt the fact that she doesnt hand in her hw. i mean the whole class knows that she's always the first to hand in her assignments. and she's so smart and all. tskk. maybe we're the one with the bad memory. after all. he's always right. AND GOSH. i totally forgot that the WHOLE class achieved 3A and 2AO. amazing! i never knew that! only our HT knows best (: love love mr chan.

we're all damn proud of liyana for getting back on her own two feet so quickly. crying out her frustrations one day and making up her mind abt the rest of her life the next. really glad to see her bouncing arnd in a pretty good mood (: you go babe.

i know the art kids will miss renu. i'll miss her too. though we dont spend all that much time with each other. she's been a barrel of laughs. a great story teller i tell you.

AND YOU FUCKING CHAO CHEE BYE. you very well know that hilmi doesnt deserve to retain. if he had taken his econs during mid year he would have gotten a much more decent pass. he had an mc. doesnt that count for anything? wah lao. you just dont knw la how hard he worked alongside me. all those weekends burnt in the library fucking studying for econs. and all those hours after school. for two weeks we worked at it alrights. he isnt stupid. he isnt playful. its just DAO MEI la okayys.

that last morning was spent cleaning up the unfinished painted class of o5a2. a picture says more than a thousand words. i'll put them up as soon as i load them. if there's one thing i'll really miss abt this class is.. THIS CLASS. i dont want to say so much la. repeat and repeat. i dont ever want to be separated from this class. mornings at the usual table peeps (:

dont ever forget lovelove and the joojoo bird okayys? ):

o5a2spent the morning AND the afternoon doing up the hall for alumni night. the other people apparently lost their way after lunch. see? still so united. BLOODY HELL. still want to separate us? hilmi hugged me and liyi as we walked up the stairs. hilmi was telling me laughingly to stop hugging him so he could hug us properly. and then i heard my name. i turned back and i saw sue coming up the stairs towards me.

she put on a brave smile and told me that she wouldnt be seeing us anymore. and then she hugged me and the tears started flowing. YOU FUCKERS. sue is never coming back. she wasted one year here cause A levels apparently isnt for her. where is she going now? fucking NAFA. for what? LEARN TO TEACH MUSIC. fucking chao chee. she want to teach music she neednt have wasted her time here working her ass off just to be told straight in her face that SHE CANT STAY ON CAUSE SHE'S OVERAGED.

hilmi ran off to class to tell hardi and nadia. they came down and managed to catch sue before she went back. i couldnt believe it then. the finality of it. sue's LEFT. she's NOT coming back. i sat with hilmi awhile. and then the tears came. i never cried like that before. i cried for hilmi. i cried for sue. i cried for our class. no one saw me cry before. i started blubbering. hilmi hugged me and rubbed my shoulders. is and hardi gave hugs and nad stroked my hair.

i want sue to hug me again. i want to get on sue's nerves again. i want to shower with sue and borrow her safi body spray. i want to hear her snap at me for being noisy. i want to hear her talk abt her sweaty feet.

and then julie said to me - she'll find happiness somewhere else. maybe this just isnt for her. God doesnt want to make people unhappy right? so He's put her somewhere else where she'll be much happier.

i guess jule's right.

liyi told me that everyone's upset. yeah usually its the - see you next year! dont forget my book ah! bla bla bla. pink went off. shed a few tears and came back. you FUCKERS.

i was out of it during bbq. i started to miss hilmi more and more. it was the first time i didnt have him hanging arnd me. telling me stupid jokes. or making me laugh. or telling me i need to lose weight. or borrowing coins from me to take the bus. everywhere i looked shadows of him lingered. every passing head looked like hilmi's. i miss hilmieeee la gosh. they tried to cheer me up (:

post-bbq was horrible. and i never want to experience it again. stupid pink. scolded me endlessly but still run up and down like a headless chicken packing all the leftovers. HAHA. still say its MY fault. tskk! even the teachers! collided with them. everyone was running all over the place trying to get a piece of something. so stupid. and hilarious. and funny. TSKK.

i msged liyi for a bit and cleared the air a little. i feel a little sad that things have taken such a turn. and then i msged hilmi and told him how i felt. he replied the morning afters. he bawled in the train. i bawled at home. he called me. we talked. I MISS HILMI. he's one of the greatest friend ever.

riahh ranted at 9:49:00 PM