Thursday, August 18, 2005
a roller coaster of emotions today. refat has officially refused to let me go down to unity. he gave me reasons and i accepted it. but i cannot deny that this hurts me more than i can ever say.

today i shed tears of anger and frustration.

whats gonna happen in the near future? i dont know. its human nature; they'll eventually forget me. i love these kids so much. treated them like my own juniors. my world came crashing down today. im not gonna let this set me back. im gonna tell them to look positive and work hard and show him that they can do it too.

that arrogant ASST conductor of yours will have to eat his words when you guys shine.

be a good band under his baton.

not one to mince his words. they slapped me in the face and pierced through my heart.

i will NOT let this set me back. be good okayys unity kids (: if you do eventually forget me along the way. i hope that in the back of your mind you will always remember that i was once part of your life (: love love kids. muahs. had a great time with you guys these past few months.

was enraged again this morning. hahaha. but mr chan always make such a parody of things you know. that lovable guy. so yes evaporated for a bit but when i saw her stupid face i got pissed all over again. HAHA. stared her down a few times. pathetic bitch.

nice feast during break. didnt stone thru history and econs is actually starting to look up. and then me and hilmi went to donate blood. it was just plain funny la please. a little freaked abt the needles and stuff. and maybe it was the incredulity of it all. but we just laughed and laughed.

gawdd. the anamalais ahh.

i have a purple band now (: it looks damn professional. had fun showing it off in town. ahh yes towned again with anamalais. to celebrate our blood donation we had a feast at pastamania (: liyi told me sth which left me traumatised. up till now. i have after all a great imagination. LOL. much laughter abt a supposed re-enactment of a scene where all the professional nurses when havoc and chopped off a girl's hand.

laughed so much and so loud la please. and me and hilmi were basically retarded. should have seen him eat his pasta. hahaha. SO STIFF LA THE ARM.

met meroy. even more laughter. meroy is so funny please! he laughs worse than us. so loud some more. hahahaha. gawdd. his face is so nice please! cant stop touching it. yupp he's really nice to get along with. laughed abt so many things. dinner at delifrance with him. LOL. okayys la the waiters and cashiers were cutee (: charmed by me i guess. HAHA.

gawdd i suck.

i cant remember anymore details. im too absorbed in my own self pity and sorrows. but then again. since when have i really been despondent? like liyi told me last night - asking me to be despondent is asking for too much.

cause i have a cheery disposition. and no one can take that away from me.

aidil. what to do with him? what if he likes someone else? gawdd.

riahh ranted at 11:09:00 PM