Saturday, August 20, 2005
yesterday was a walking nightmare. mum woke me up late and what the heck. i decided to skip school anyway. was surprised that the gnawing feeling of guilt didnt well.. gnaw on me. after weighing the pros and cons fifteen mins elasped. went back to sleep anyway.

sorry jules i couldnt pass you your pictures.

anamalais are just wonderful people please. they msged me today and asked if i was okayys. could have burst into another torrent of tears a la cry me a river. i wasnt obviously because my arm felt numb. i dont have a band anymore. and i think aidil likes someone else. and hilmi so sweetly sent me some of those forwarded msges. one was abt no matter how dark my world is they will always be around. and the other was abt taking my time to choose a good guy. hahaha.

they are funny shits.

cat was being such a pain in the arse. got up and changed to go down to unity one last time. forgot my phone and walked all the way to get it back. waited a bit and then FOUR of them came down. so sweet please! yunwei and mitch copied some scores from me and i took some from them. yupp they were pretty upset that i didnt go up for band. i couldnt say guys. sorry.

but hugs and kisses went around. will miss you guys loads loads (:

i will miss jonathon for his constant stream of complaints and comments (: i will miss siti and how she always meddles with my phone (: i will miss yunwei for always screaming 'HA?!' in band and i will miss mitch for all the endless fun and laughter he gave me (:

i cant even talk to you. cant even sms you. cant even tag you. cant even chat with you. cant even meet you. in refat's words - as little contact as possible.

whats wrong with him please? he thinks this will upset me? think again. if he has brains left over to think that is. bleargh. as mei said. i will dont care him LA. hmms.

read in the cck library and then miyo came. and it was all talk talk talk talk talk. so much catching up to do please (: ate a bit and then we went to her place to chill by her pool. so nice to wade around in rolled up jeans and be a little kid once again. its nice to be able to hold an intellectual conversation with her. LOL. yes much talk of the ethical and moral spectrum and the ghastly idea of cloning. bleargh.

called hilmi and took one heck of a busride to town. aidil wasnt coming as usual. LOL. but i didnt know that. *whines* i feel cheated. sighhs. but the anamalai did a great job of cheering me up. saw mervin. I KNOW HIM PLEASE. we went to swsy prac together before and sat beside each other some more. i always knew him as arrogant and basically kept to himself.

MERVIN IS SOME CUTE PLEASE. wah hahahaha. and yes i didnt bother keeping my voice down abt it. he's really funny la. and soft spoken. tskk. but his playing ah super sia. ate dinner at bk and walked around acting stupid and being noisy. i took my pills with coke before that. sighhs. walk walk walk. everyone was emo. took some pics with the armani exchange logo. MEROY I WANT MY PICTURES.

so yes. emo. and more emo. sighhs. and then meroy came. and he said hi to martha (: aww love love. i feel empty. really empty inside. arnd the time that i met meroy i should have been at yew tee food court eating supper with the unity kids. i didnt even do any teaching today. felt so empty.

he took away the one thing that meant so much to me.

why is he so cruel to me? why does he hate me so?

gawdd. lets all not get emo.

just chatted with mitch and he consoled me a bit. and then he told me abt hilda and xing xing coming down ):

i need time to get over this.

forgive me friends if im quieter and more emo than usual. i dont think even getting in SLE is a consolation.

riahh ranted at 12:03:00 PM