Saturday, July 16, 2005
its been two days and ive not had more than 10 hrs of sleep in between.

school was fun on friday. there were no tables. unfortunately we still did study. racism is sth that should definitely be abolished in OUR society especially. yeah when we think of black people we think of america. america seems to be the benchmark of most things. the good AND the bad. yeah hey. we have dark-skinned people here in singapore too.

renu told us many stories abt how she coped with racism. true it happened to her when she was younger. and maybe to her at the time she doesnt really knw why things like that happened to her. but some china hole-in-the-wall teacher renaming the game 'monkey' to BLACK DOG is very very RUDE.

parents play a freaking part in all this la please. just for one small little misunderstanding with a neighbour and u decide that all malays/chinese/indians are equally bad. now what age and time already? still act like cuckoos.

whats the point of having rhd if the kids stand united for only ONE DAY? when they go back their parents will brainwash them. when the kid says that it was fun playing a game while holding hands with an indian/chinese/malay friend the parent will ask the kid to wash his hands NUMEROUSLY. conveniently forgetting the fact that the kid did have FUN.

like wth?

and if u can find someone who's more pleasant in nature. more humorous. more kind hearted than renu. yeah let me knw. cause my friend is like BLACK la.

yay for malay. im like so tersinggung? err. yeah. affected. lol. the heartfelt words and those reaching-out-for-you talks. abt doing well for malay. failing in not trying and yada yada. me and hilm were pretty emo for awhile. and thanks to hilmi's loud proclamation of 'DONT CRY RIAH!' the whole class was pretty much in the mood too. tskk.

im still not inspired.

yay to meya and her big round tummy. did group work. and yes i was pretty much nasty to liling but i dont really care la. im sleeepy. and im pisssy. and im always nasty to her anyway. in NASTY to everybody. yeah well. oh wells.

me : temptation is not a theme here. i mean claudio is gona marry julietta so it isnt exactly wrong to fornicate before marriage is it?
liyi : but the thing is. they could have waited until they're married.
me : but..
liyi : oh look. this is exactly what meya wants us to do. ok lets argue.
hilmi : *sniffles loudly while flipping m for m*

picture taking and sneaking of food into class before meya came and threatened us all with flying kicks. hahaha. oh sheesh. painted nails. grrr.

yay for lit eight. everyone was getting high. apparently hardi was telling us all abt faking orgasms and bin hong's annotation of 'i ate the magic loaf and became a dwarf' was pretty captivating.

magic loaf of course refers to a guy's private parts. and dwarf are pretty small creatures. lowering urself to that level literally or not. ahh well. the wonders of human anatomy.

narcissus was mentioned in my paper and i was asked to explain its significance. i have no idea who or what it is. i thought it was a rice brand. song he or sth? LOL. but apparently he was a good looking greek god who everyone lusted over. one day he saw his own face in a still pond and he just sat there and looked at his own face. he couldnt bear to leave the sight of the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. but he just keeled over into the pond for some reason and the image shattered.

hahaha. hows that for a bird? LOL. tts how i learnt where narcissist came abt. interesting isnt it? (:

rushed to main band afters. ive never had good impressions of saf people. nt that i know many but ALL whom i know are pretty.. bad. its been like what 5-6 mths since terrence took over. he's like over qualified for the job or sth la. and he has commitments outside. i knw kelvin was downright disappointed with the main band. when we arrived they were playing Bb scale. well hurrah. they have no tone (:

lets not talk abt technique. the band is not HALF bad la. the sec twos are after all refat's babies for awhile. but the problem is that they are still at the point where refat left them. no improvement whatsoever. the sec ones arent half bad. at least they can play scale. or at least there are sounds which bear resemblance to the note they are suppose to play.

the saxes are trying. xu jie is playing out now. i think she's getting better. her playing is smoother. and her sight reading has IMPROVED A LOT. unfortunately she never watches the conductor. lost in her own world. good job tho.

im very disappointed with mei xian. she was one of the best players of the band. her standard hasnt improved since. its still good but its stagnant. i miss her sweet tone.

terrence is so much like refat. no he's much much worse. terrence is IMPATIENT. and violent. when refat left them. you didnt pick up where he left off. you assumed they would make it on their own. you didnt give the sec ones good basics. bearing this is mind u expected the band to sight read on the spot. and ur impatience is really very disheartening. these kids need time la.

maybe if you shouted less and reduced ur use of sarcasm these kids would be more responsive. i wish you'd pay more attention to them like how refat used to pay attention to us. every little bit also he fuss. he'd make the impossible happen. he die die also will come for every practice even if its only for 2 hrs. and then he'd rush off to work.

he gave his all. he committed himself. it was only a year. you too. but why is he making more of an effort? if ur heart's not in it for real. drop it.

i know kelvin is damn heartbroken over the band. but strangely i wasnt. its damn wrong to feel this way but .. how do i put this? ermm. i feel this guilt knowing that there is this BOND btw me and the unity kids. that doesnt explain much but tts how i feel.

yayness for sectionals! yes. if i were my junior id hate me too. wah lao. so fierce la please. my patience also wearing thin. am i so fierce until ur so scared to play out? what happened to my treasured JUNIORS? well they still are but their standard is atrocious. my dear andy. sighhs. my pride and joy. dont dare to play out loud anymore cause he covers the band. cant read the flats on the scores. oh dear ):

and my dearest tracy also. still the same! no improvement at all. CANT READ SCORES LA PLEASE. cant tell which notes are flat and stuff. no volume ): disheartening la please. i thought when terrence gave those tough rhythmic songs there'd be at least an improvement. i didnt knw what to expect. but definitely not my own juniors not being able to READ SCORES.

yes i had fun with andy again. laming around and stuff. almost back to the old days. played some past band songs. i miss my besson. my baby for so many years. i took care of it damn well la please. it shared so many memories with me. my anger and my joy. playing in the band room brings back so many memories also. my sound is so loudd la please (: cant hold my long notes for long. lips tired tired.

yayness for DO ENKA! go band go! bring back the glory of bm band kayys? (:

i know you dont want me in unity. if i had the means i would bring my own instrument. but i dont. i dont have to play. i can sit. sit and watch. teach. u say its wrong for me not to go back to my own band? ok. i will go back but i hope you will occasionally allow me to go down to teach during their sectionals or sit in on their practice.

thats all (:

riahh ranted at 10:57:00 PM