Wednesday, May 11, 2005
when i went thru dark periods of my life as i grew up. i would pray fervently and asked God to give me a sign. any sign to make everything seem clearer. i have always believed in God. but i always question his existence. i always make adults angry by asking questions like :

where did He come from?

why must we follow His teachings?

why so unreasonable all these things?

how did He come about?

im not deviating from my religion. im just curious. why? why must follow His way of life? doesnt every religion teaches one to be good? other than that we just worship different Gods. isnt there one universal God to rule them all? isnt there? isnt there? *frustrated.

when i dream of things unexpected i believe in them. when sth happens out of the blue i revert it back to God. if this had been the age of enlightenment i would probably have been stoned to death by the philosophes. oh no wait. do they stone ppl? maybe they'd use the guillotine on me like they did it with the queen when the monarch collasped. eughh.

ok yes. when im finally clear abt things. id stopped praying and stuff. but never once. never once has my belief in Him faltered. and when i need Him again. id start to pray. and im not even doing anything abt it. hopefully the influence of my friends will change me to be a better person.

but i do find it ridiculous to fear doing sth in case u get punished by God when you go to hell and stuff. scary yes. but.. i dont knw. now i dont think its ridiculous. oh geez. *confused.

riahh ranted at 11:19:00 PM