Wednesday, April 13, 2005
ive been dead tired. each time i come home. all i do is change and fall asleep. too tired to pray. too tired to shower. too tired to eat. im drained. very. and its only the second week of school.

yes sch wasnt so bad. unbelievably im doing well in economics. drawing the ppc graphs and understanding concepts. im able to draw graphs according to different conditions. im good. (: been taking my role as history rep damn seriously. im competent (: so now im lit grp leader as well. i hate steph. she sucks. so big deal ur here for first 3 mths. get a life.

assembly on mon. talks abt the blood and bone marrow donation drives. im so psyched. i cant wait to donate mine. im not proud abt it. neither am i humble. im just ok. i have it. i dont need so much of it. why not give it away? im pretty excited abt it too. if u donate ur bone marrow u gotta go thru an operation. u kena anesthatic and all. then u lie face down. they cut up ur back until ur spine is exposed. then they stick this thingie into the base of ur spine and extract the bone marrow. ta da! (: i'll just suffer from backache for abt 3 days max.

mom said it was ok. said she's proud of it. BUT DAD WONT LET ME DO IT. arghhh! why why why?! i wana do it. i dont care. i will do it. dad's just worried that something will happen to me and stuff. i tried assuring him that im just gona go for the blood test. if im damn healthy they will put me on the registrar. tts all. sheeeesh.

i love pe. double period on tuesday. ran up and down the hill and the perimeter of the bball court and tennis court. leg lifts. crunches. stretched every part of the body. sit ups. push ups of every way imaginable. a thorough work out. i can feel myself slimmer already. =p. floorball straight after school. keeper training. i made rajeev proud. my throws are super now. hehs. but little pinkie is not fine. its swollen to the max. *screws face :( rushed down for dinner with regulars. missed them loads.

talked with wency abt loads of stuff. and i told queena off. just mildly irritated.

today i was very very frustrated. and i have never felt this way in ages. hilmi and st pats got permission to go off from s cube seminar because they can get a written letter from the school. and me? already so excited that queena say can go in without tickets. already dampened like crazy when mr chan say i cant skip the stupid seminar. really pissed. refused to talk. frowned a lot. i have never felt so angry. today is my sister's syf. dont i deserve some fairness at least? idiots. it was hard to keep my tears in.

if there's sth u should knw abt me. i cry when im damn frustrated. and i dont get damn frustrated very often.

walked with jules to clementi from sp. shopped awhile. didnt see kenny at baleno. chionged to sch. i went there with a light heart. knwing that i can watch my sis perform from outside. not all is lost. lots and lots and lots of thanks to hilda for giving me that ticket. i can never thank you enough. and thanks to peee also for being nice to me. to tanglin and their alumni and ms tan. congratulations (: you did it.

it was my first time watching syf. and the experience it gave me was just electrifying. it really opened my eyes. i felt the tension in me as i watched tanglin perform. i held my breath as they delievered their piece. it was exciting. it really was. i felt the tension ease up a little as they waited for the results. a lot of milling arnd. hi's and good lucks all over.

and then they announced the results. entwined hands in every row. held breath throughout the hall. crossed fingers and mumbled prayers. cheers from satisfied bands. smattered applause and silence from shocked bands. im sorry to shuqun the alumni and mr er. ive not heard u guys but u guys are not the only one who are shocked. many ppl are infuriated over this decision.

i felt that the beginning for tanglin's rhap was a bit weak. too much of bass. not enough of the muted instruments. climax was not very obvious. but overall good. no mistakes. black hawk's beginning was wonderful. if i could id give jasmine a standing ovation each time she plays. she has such a beautiful tone. a bit of boo boo with the winds. just A BIT. but tanglin is good. im sure they're a high silver. close to a gold. (:

dunman's rhap was a little weak. not much climax. didnt end together. and their quaver and crotchet no power. just.. like that. tt was all i could hear from outside. too much noise.

the last bit was MY opinion. you dont have to agree.

it was a wonderful experience. it really was. i am but a mere audience. syf no big deal? yes maybe to bands out there. but for me its a big deal. im a first timer. still a green horn. like small baby like tt u knw. everything dont knw. i was definitely an extra. hahaha. but too bad. im thick skinned. =p.

im very proud of orchid park. from cop to gold with honors. why are ppl complaining? saying its unfair? just because two year's ago gold didnt get gold with honors or they got silver instead everyone gets upset. everyone blames the adjudicators. every syf they blame the same ppl. unfair. unjust. tone deaf. whatever whatever. but how do u knw which batch of adjudicators are unfair?

u like the judges when the bands ASSUMED to get gold do get gold. you hate the judges when the bands ASSUMED to get gold dont get gold and the the bands deemed hopeless are achieving them. i think its sick. if you dont get a gold. reflect on urself first. not start pointing at everyone else but urself.

there's a saying in malay. direct translation 'when u cant dance u blame the floor.' sometimes if u cant dance the fault lies with u. not the floor.

please please. let me watch unity tmr. i wana be there for them. grrr.

fat. i think u look adorably **** with ur new 'do (: hahahaha. u look like apple fat. red apple. cause ur cheeks so red. wah hahahahahahha. ok lar. from far look like u lost some weight also. jia you zombie!

*gush gush gush gush gush gush gush.........

have u seen the cardboard cows around? those pink yellow blue red and green ones? i cannot control myself when i see them. i'll start squealing like a pig to a slaughter. arghhh. so cuteeee! i love cows! cows rawkk! woo hoooo.

im dying in lit. i have no clue what the stupid play is all abt. is it even english? i cant string it together. im dead.

im going to crash. right now. good night.

riahh ranted at 9:10:00 PM