Friday, February 04, 2005
in a state of absolute shock. numbed. how do i respond? hearing it over and over and over is like a stab in the heart. these past few days have been sleepless. restless. uncertain. what do we do from here? where do we start? what should we do? was talking to mrs chin enough? other than clarifying stuff with her. getting false hopes and dreams. thinking tt everything will work out all fine. we have not done anything to help him. we have to face the fact that right now the main band is not strong enough to hold a performance let alone a concert on their own. the alumni on the other hand is also not strong enough to hold a performance let alone a concert on their own. and the only way we can remain on close ties with the main band is to sit thru. shut up. and tolerate the alumni band. because the main band's concern is simply none of our business.

whats all tt talk abt loyalty and love for if we are still so enthusiastic and eager to go back and teach the sec ones? in truth babes. we thought of ourselves. we thought of the main band. and we thought of the sec ones. we didnt think of terence. we forgot tt he was part of the picture too. and yes come to think of it again. what a dumb thing to do. letting a conductor reaping the benefits of our labour. 1.5 hrs a week. what can he do? first prac just come and assign instruments. a bit of intro. do a little theory. next prac. WE teach them how to hold their instrument. WE teach them how to read their basic scale. WE teach them how to buzz. WE teach them how to blow their first note. next prac. terence again. and he goes. oh wow. not bad. band can play a bit of notes already. takes out e.e. plays thru a few exercises. next prac. WE teach them how to play thru their scale. WE teach them basic theory.

basically we're the ones doing HIS job. and the bastard walks away with 140 bucks a week for conducting 1.5 hrs. easy life eh? a conductor true to his name. NOT an instructor. what little he may teach is minimal. band performs well he gets all the glory.

i am not gona sit out on this one. i knw u may think tt we're ingrates. tt we are all talk no action. tt we are hypocrites. think as u may like. but one thing i wish to tell u right now. we are not giving up. it is not us who wants u. its the band who wants you. who needs you. they asked for you. we didnt threaten them. we didnt force them. they said it themselves. we asked them what if they could adapt to the new conductor? they said they are too used to you. we told them that they were able to adapt to you after hong. and they simply said. we were never used to hong. the response from them is simply overwhelming. we never expected this at all.

they want you. they need you. and i will repeat it again. we will never give up.


riahh ranted at 1:49:00 AM