Monday, October 25, 2004
i seem to feel so heavy.. no it has nothing to do with my recent weight gain.. i just feel tis heaviness in me.. oh of course if i tell that to piggy he'll just say 'no problem also u want to get emo..' no one to turn to.. feel so helpless.. i wana talk.. but it seems im just stuck to nodding and saying yes to whatever piggy has to say.. tis isnt me.. i usually talk a lot.. ready to come up with anything to throw back at ppl..

been thinking of other ppl.. thinking of getting to knw them more than friends.. tis is sick.. today is the first time that im feeling like tis.. after which i'll push all thoughts away and tell myself tis is wrong.. i have a boyfriend.. such thoughts are uncalled for.. whats with me? just one night of disagreement and i end up like tis..

am i thinking of a break up? is tis what i want? tis is ridiculous.. it was only one night! and already im thinking like tis.. whats wrong with me? get a grip girl.. ur losing it.. oh duhhh im losing it.. it aint helping much that my boyfriend is a self centred.. conceited.. and arrogant person.. at times.. and no its not abt last night.. NOTHING to do with last night..

i gotta run.. running late fr work.. update again later.. see ya


riahh ranted at 8:45:00 PM