Monday, October 25, 2004
i cant keep it in me.. i duno what to do.. piggy seems more agitated abt tis vulgarism thing.. im so afraid.. no sweetheart i havent repented.. not fully.. i mean naww.. i havent said bad words tis mth.. except today when i went to study with miee.. it wasnt much.. but i said them.. its hard.. im with friends who worship vulgarism.. worship.. its a very strong word.. but tts how apt it is..

im so afraid.. i knw he thinks im this perfect little person.. but im not.. im trying.. maybe im not trying hard enough.. its hard.. its easy to slip into my old ways.. its hard to break out and be a new person.. im one to talk since i havent even been trying hard enough..

piggy scoff at teenage romance.. he has very strong ideas and beliefs.. i respect that.. stuff he says are true.. i just find it hard to tell his exact words to my friends.. they're teenagers.. im a teenager.. i understand but they dun.. they will undertstand when the time comes.. unfortunately the time isnt now.. so they gota go thru that trial and turbulence of a teenager..

i kissed him today.. i shouldnt i knw.. but i cant help it.. its been a week since i last kissed him.. i cant help it.. i liked it.. i wana do it again.. but i shouldnt.. -snigger-.. ahh the wonders of teen angst..

first time that piggy made his feelings show abt soccer.. apparently he's very upset that man u's won.. is there more that i can say?.. i duno how he's gona react when he reads tis.. but i cant hide it.. we've got an honesty pact..

whatever the outcome.. i love u still sweetheart.. mUah.. i knw its wrong but i cant wait till i hold u again.. =(


riahh ranted at 1:24:00 AM